heap of thoughts??

And as the days passed by.. the logs that were drying, they started to give out that sweet smell.. characteristic of timber... u feel like clinging onto one, and never let it go. The mill was one of the best in the region. Strolling away from the mill i came to a firm stop... the beautiful grass... and the breathtaking scenery... looking so bright, the radiant sun, .. was it the so called paradise on earth??? Why the hell do we need chunks of concrete to pave our way into the history?? when we have all of the puzzle pieces to make the shapes of the heavens, the spiraling meshes, the leaf veins what else do we need?

Sitting under a tree, i thought it best to get a glimpse of my own life. A haphazard array of unfinished dues... here there everywhere, it would take a life full of grinding to get it into shape. I meant no harm to nobody ever.. but in this crooked little world where u cannot govern even the path of a crawling ant, u cant do anything without making someone somewhere feel bad. "Lots of love i say.. to all those who love me... lots and lots of love for those who hate me. A compensation for having done you people wrong. May God bless us all."
 Hovering over my head a beautiful butterfly broke the train of thoughts, gliding around me in circles and finally settling on my shoulder. She knew me... or did she?? She stared at me sarcastically... trying to tell me "dont you recognize me?? how could you have forgotten me??" Is it she?? or am i searching my little baby amidst every other butterfly that i came across??   Look now what have i done to myself. I am confused.. i am confused as i dont think its her.. it cant be her .. i had known her for all these years and yet i am confused?? it cant be she. I bet she could sense my inner turmoil.. i cud see her getting a bit anxious.. the soft breeze of wind ... the sweep on my ears .. and she flew, "the butterfly flew away!!" with the same grace she had entered my universe. Taking out the joint and the lighter from my right pocket, ... i carefully lit it, the first puff is always the best.. smoking playfully, puffing out circles, sucking them back in, i went back into the universe where i was the king, i was everything. I had been a bad bad son ... but as always i had time to get things right. This time i wasnt going to screw it all up. I had my plans right in my head and i was determined to do them. First and foremost get them out of that dreaded hole they are stuck into, stay with them for a while and get things in  right place for them before continuing with that unfinished job i had on my mind.
Love i guess is something i can never understand.. or maybe no one can .. but whatever it is... its wonderful, you never know whether you are angry, happy or sad when you are in love, you keep guessing..  "holy shit!!.. i am angry.." or maybe i am not... well the funniest part is... i even don't know whether i have ever loved somebody in my entire life???

The Never ending Hope

The lord made the sky so beautiful.. burning red .. screaming for justice at times... looking bright and happy on a sunny afternoon.. while at times gloomy and sad wanting to shed the tears of frightful anger engulfing her. O lord of the heavens, why did u make the lands so green and fertile on the banks... and so lustful and dry are the deserts bearing the heaps of sands?? Why does the sea wear the colour of the sky and washes the dreary lands of all its sins?? Why did you make all of them so beautiful?

He sat there pondering.. when suddenly this drooping leaf caught his attention. He lifted it up and to his surprise this beautifully spun cocoon emerged from the unknown. He looked at it carefully examining it to bits, aah... "it is beautiful!" he exclaimed. He sat there wondering what was inside it, whatever it was, he decided not to harm it. Days went by.. and his eager mind kept him bringing to that cocoon everyday. Time passed and soon the trees started to seem much more greener with the new leaves springing, the plants had flowers now, colourful budding flowers that seemed to have suddenly put on a bridal attire on the garden.

And the buttterfly flew away!!

The silky cocoon grew day by day,
all i would think, and all i would say,
could i for once see her sleep,
Oh how i wish, i had a way.


And then the showers came pouring down,
washing off the dirty lawn,
flowers sweet flowers started to bloom,
Alas the long dry winter was gone.

So now she comes out of her little cocoon
flying allover, bragging of her boon,
she sits there.. hey look!! there she goes again..
i wonder how she learnt to fly so soon.

i sat there with the cocoon in my hand,
as time passed by like slipping sand,
Oh look the sun is down, and she is still not home
i guess this wait will never end,
and i guess this wait will never end...